God Hates Me

A huge part of the reason the Right has risen to dominance in American politics is their successful campaign to portray liberals as wimps; and themselves--by implication--as manly men. By their way of spinning things, Sean Hannity is a tough guy while Martin Sheen is a pussy. This is bullshit because the loudest people on the right are the biggest bitches in America. The biggest reason for the triumph of this bullshit, however, is the very real Liberal Vagina.
Although he may or may not bare a vestigial pair of testicles, the Liberal Vagina is a henpecking bitch who went to college instead of church, the Peace Corps instead of the army and yoga classes instead of bars. Instead of fuming about how a sitcom with a gay character will mean the end of human procreation, (s)he fumes about how Governor Schwarzenegger’s “girly men” joke is a dire affront to the transgendered and "gender-challeneged."
The primary concern of the Liberal Vagina is to pester and harass strangers into his notion of comportment. Although the Liberal Vagina is ostensibly concerned about issues relating to the equality of the races, sexes and sexual orientations, this is just a pretext to get his beak up your ass. He couldn’t tell you the different rates of incarceration for black and white drug offenders, but if a newscaster quotes a use of the word ‘nigger’ instead of childishly saying ‘the n-word,’ he is ready for war.
This rant was triggered by hilariously vagatastic string of absurdities on salon.com. The author is a father trying to cope with the fact that his daughter enjoys pretending to be a Disney Princess. Seriously. No, really; I am being 100% serious. He thought about that issue for tens of hours, even formed a kind of support group for similar parents, wrote an article for Salon and they published it. Again, this is a piece about the fact that his daughter likes to dress up as a fucking princess, which to him presenta some sort of crisis. I await a follow-up about the horror of having a son who stands up to pee. “I know he didn’t see that kind of behavior in my house!”
The really striking thing about the article is the similarity in thinking to a fundie busybody who wants to ban sex education from school. Both peoples deny the realities of biology. The fundie thinks that by refusing to teach teens about safe sex, the kids can be prevented from doing so during the height of their fertility. The Liberal Vagina thinks that if you give your daughter a toy fire truck instead of a Barbie, she’ll wind up captain of the football team. Somewhere there’s a 16-year-old Mormon who’s only allowed to watch Disney films, while this schmuck is prohibiting his 6 year old daughter from watching them and, presumably, forcing her to sit through GI Jane..
The guy has some valid concerns. For example, he’s afraid of his daughter investing too much of her self esteem in her looks. Fair enough. But because of this concern, he becomes alarmed when she begins pronouncing herself to be a "beautiful princess." This is at least as stupid as other parents being upset at their kids seeing Janet’s pastied tit for 3/8ths of a second. It’s fucking nature you assholes! Women have boobs and they like to feel pretty. Being an unattractive woman is tough to deal with, of course. Probably about as hard as being a guy with a 2-inch dick, or one who can’t put on a condom without popping his cork. That doesn’t mean we can or should alter nature in attempt to fix it--so these things don’t matter. This notion is the spawn of the pussy-ass “everyone gets a trophy” mentality. If every girl can’t be beautiful, we should combat the very idea and practice of beauty. If I sound a little like Rush Limbaugh here, it’s not because I’m doped up. It’s because Liberal Vaginas are the ones who give Rush and other rightwing bitches fodder. You candy-asses are part of the reason that a retarded little coward like tWit is seen as a bigger, tougher dude than a decorated vet. Because you are associated with the vet.
Look Liberal Vaginas, until you accomplish the following set of goals, just fuck off because you are only making things worse.
Go one month without calling someone a misogynist; realizing that simply calling someone a "cunt" or wanting to fuck a girl from behind doesn’t mean that one hates women..
Go a week without calling someone a racist; you gots to realize that jokes about race and varying attitudes about racial politics are not necessarily the result of racial hatred.
Buy a toy gun for a boy.
Buy a Barbie for a girl.
Sample at least 3 of the following pleasures without any feelings of shame or guilt: Laugh at a joke made at the expense of a race/ethnicity other than whites. Jerk off to barely legal porn. Ridicule someone behind his back for being fat, ugly or disabled. Call someone/be called a "bitch" during sex. Eat fois gras. And overpay for it.
Watch a football game while swilling beer. Expect your wife/girlfriend to provide you and your buddies with greasy sustenance for the duration. At halftime call up a foreign friend and tell him that soccer is the lamest, most boring sport known to mankind and that no other nation could compete with American football players because of the genetic superiority of our awesome black athletes. Hang up and then question the heterosexuality of one of the athletes.
Drink bourbon for lunch.
In summary; don't be a pussy. It only hurts America.

Keep my memories of you in a drawerold letters you wrote me sentimental things I can't bear to look at (you) anymoreI guess your life is better nowFinally have security and a man you plan to marryI guess you're not feeling you're withoutDo you ever remember meall those things we planned to bethose times I held you late at night? Now I am to you only a memoryFour years and counting that's all I amit's just wasted time gone byI can't explain the way I feel insidethis loneliness grabs me and won't let me go and I've got nowhere to hideI was twenty two years old and didn't have many friendsyou'd taken everything from meI'm not afraid of being alone in this world 'cause I know one day your time's gonna comeI think about you, no asylum in my sleepDreams of moments we have shared are painful things to keepTime is the healer and I guess in time we'll seewhen you realize what you had is only a memory

Nothing says sheer enjoyment like opening one's self up to public scrutiny. Why am I doing this..... That is a good question.... I really don't know... Nothing better to do I guess. The vodka is gone, as is the beer and the MD 20/20. The music is off, people are sleeping, and I.... I am not. I am an insomniac; plain an simple... I don't sleep... What the fuck is sleep anyway? A fucking waste of time.... thats what it is. I am currently in Wisconsin freezing my fucking balls off, and for what? A possibility of change, a possibility of advancement, a possibility to get my shit in order? who the fuck knows... I sure as fuck don't.

So I have come to grips with a horrible realization as of late... I am an addict... If it is fun, if it is bad, if (assuming you believe in hell) it will send me to hell... Then I am doing it, doing it to the extremes. And why not? The moments that have made me the happiest are those in which I was doing something bad. Balling the shit out of a girl in a Gap dressing room? Yea.. thats a fun one. Getting it on while in a hot tub with about 13 other people around... yea done that one too. I am a horrible person but I know this, and that, friends and neighbors, is what makes me superior.

So to those of you who don't know me, and those of you who do... judge me as you will... Leave me comments, I really don't care. I will say my peice, I will disgust you, I will rape your third eye, but most importantly I will leave you coming back for more. And that, that is what it boils down to. So do with it what you will.

I have realized that I am a jealous person.... I am jealous of other people and their interactions with significant others. For some reason I fail miserably in that aspect. I don't understand it. I am under the curse of being able to save everyone elses relationships but my own. I just can't do it. I cannot listen to my own advice, I chose not to listen to other people's advice. I am an idiot. When I finally find someone that I COULD see myself with for a very long period of time, I fuck it up. Is this based on my past? My very fucked up relationship track record? What is it?!?!?! I just don't know. Rather than hold the good things in my life close to me, I subconciously push them away. The one's that I think something could happen with are typically those with whole I have been relegated to the much feared 'friends' status with.

All i have in this world are my balls and my word.... I don't break them for no man....
-Tony Montana
Scarface

Fuck off

Things I have to say about "The Notebook". Not only does the film lack any interesting content, it is completely redundant. If you can actually make it through the title screen without dumping your girlfriend and making a run for it you'll soon discover two horrible truths to the movie. Scare the shit out of me point #1: One of the main characters is in fact a really nasty chick who needs to make good friends with a tanning bed. If you can stomach this chick, I suggest trying out for Fear Factor. Crap in my pants point #2: On the other side of a spectrum you'd rather not analize, you have a really ghetto and broke guy who resembles a wet rat. A blind man could figure out what happens next. With no common sense whatsoever, the two end up falling in love with each other and slutting it up all over the place while the girls parents are like ummm WTF! our daughter has the standards of Forest Whittaker! Don't see this movie. PERIOD!

Ah yes

Valentine's Day.... Feb. 14th.... As you may (or may not) know, I despise this holiday....

Valentines Day... ah, the powerful emotions it doth evoke. Images of young lovers holding hands, the exchange of flowers and heart shaped boxes of chocloate candy, laughter, joy, love, love, love; all this coupled with the promise of the impending spring thaw.
It's enough to make a free thinking individual want to gouge his own eyeballs out with an old rusty pair of scissors.
You hate Valentine's Day. Every year you screw up your face in disgust when your eyes fall on the center of your February calendar. Every year you glare in contempt and hatred at these ignorant fools who buy into this money-making scheme of unabashed transparent nothingess thinkly disguised as a day to show that special loved one just how much you care, while leaving those of us who are not in the throes of love to feel rejected, unloved, and downright inadequate. And those of you who are lucky enough to share the companionship of another are very aware that passing this wretched date by unheeded will result in scorn and contempt from your partner.
You've finally had enough, and you want to take action, but you are at a loss as of what kind of action to take. In a stroke of rare generosity, I have compiled a list of things you can do to make February 14 a tolerable, and even perhaps enjoyable, day for those of who refuse to be enslaved by commercialism.
Firebomb all the Hallmark card shops you can find. The greeting card industry created this "holiday" and the most effective way of ridding ourselves of it is to destroy it at the source. Greeting card shops sell primarily paper goods, and will burn quite efficiently.
Gather a large amount of sympathetic malcontents together and declare February 14 as a Day of Hate. Ridicule those who are less fortunate than you, refuel old ethnic hatred while encouraging the hate that already exists, explode an advertising binge of misanthropy. Be sure to be extremely vocal so as to get the attention of the media. Break lots of things with reckless abandon. Carry placards with catchy hateful slogans, such as "Hate Is Great", "Have You Exploited Someone Today?" and "Fuck Love". Hit the malls and be sure to torch all the greeting card shops (see (1)). This will have the positive side effect of destroying the malls where today's vacuous youth, extremely vulnerable to advertising, run rampant like a bad case of hives.
Upon coming in contact with aforementioned amourous starry-eyed couples, proceed to exclaim loudly to either one, "Why didn't you call me! You told me our passionate night together was only the beginning?! Who the hell is *this* cretin? Don't you know that s/he could never love you like I can?! You're coming with *me*!" Etc., ad nauseum. Be very animated, and feel free to physically get in between these two clueless sots. To be especially effective, do your research ahead of time and seek out certian couples. Learn their names, their habits and lifestyles, and capitalize on this. By ruining their holiday of love together, you will be adding them to the ranks of bitter V.D. malcontents.
You get the picture. Refuse to be passive! Join the ranks of the angry, the bitter, the angstful, and smash this day into oblivion. You'll thank me for it in the end, I guarantee.

Wow... finally broke 1000 hits... god i suck... it only took like a year and a half. Oh well, it isn't really like i write this crap for everyone else.. but sometimes i guess i do... what ever.

Either way, sometimes i find myself in a rather philosophical mood in which i try to tackle the problems philosopically inherint to the world. And unfortunately for you reading this, I am in one of those moods yet again... And instead of just thinking about this shit I am actually going to put it out there.

So lately I have been surrounded by a great deal of worthless individuals... These people have no inherint worth, and quite possibly no intrinsic value either. This brought me to a question of natural selection, Darwinism. The idea of the weak being weeded out is one that has been around for hundreds if not thousands of years. The eskimos are some of the most recognisable to embrass assertive selection, in which they chose those that were weak and sent them adrift on a hunk of ice. This insured good bloodlines, this insured only the strong remained. The question that then approached me was why, if this social darwinism exists, do the weak and stupid still remain?

Natural selection has been described as an environment selectively screening for those who will have progeny (offspring). Where humans are concerned, though, this is an extremely limiting viewpoint. Reproduction by sex tends toward experimentation and innovation. It raises many question, including the ancient one about whether environment is a selective agent after the variation occurs, or whether environment plays a pre-selective role in determining the variations which it screens.
This is an interesting idea. One that tends to support more of a lack of freewill. This view dictates that we fall into 'love' and 'lust', not based on our own minds, but based off of the situation we are thrust into. The idea of the universe helping to influence us and the way that we reproduce is in all reality very logical. Assuming that all people come into the world with a blank slate, or tabulas rasa, implies that since we are shaped by our surroundings and various inputs, that the world would indeed influence breeding.

Okay... now i have no clue where i am going with this so i am just going to stop.

God hates you

After the last posting I got some nasty remarks from various people... This inspired me to give women, and I guess men who swing that way, alittle something to say to embarass/humiliate/mentally destroy your significant other.

The following is Zac's top 30 Cruel Things To Say To A Naken Man List*

I've smoked fatter joints than that.
Awww, it's cute.
I guess this makes me the early bird.
Why don't we just cuddle?
You know they have surgery to fix that.
Make it dance.
Can I paint a smiley face on it?
Wow, and your feet are so big.
It's OK, we'll work around it.
Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
Can I be honest with you?
How sweet, you brought incense.
This explains your car.
Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
Why is God punishing me?
At least this won't take long.
I never saw one like that before.
But it still works, right?
It looks so unused.
Maybe it looks better in natural light.
Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
Are you cold?
If you get me really drunk first....
Is that an optical illusion?
What is that?
It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
Does it come with an air pump?
So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

*Please note.... Not ALL of these have been said to me...

God still hates you....