Monday, May 10, 2004
So anyway, I was forced to post. I haven't done it in a while, and frankly, I feel bad about it. I sit here and bitch at all the other bloggers who don't update regularly, and I felt very hipocritical about it. So either way, here goes:
Getting old sucks. How can you say that you may ask, being all of 19 how can you possibly feel old, or know any of the imensities of the world that will press down on you as your life progresses. To this I respond, I have more life experiance in my little finger than you will see in your first 30 years. I have seen alot, I have done a lot, I have been all over. I have done things I shouldn't have, I have done things I definately was right to do. I have loved, I have lost, I have laughed, and yes, even I have cried. I have seen death first hand, as I have seen live created first hand. And from all the things I have seen, it has made me a very cold and cynical person. This is quite obvious if you look at my past postings, but I felt it was my duty to inform the public of why I am this way.
I am this way, because I was destined to be. I am not the reincarnation of Christ, for which you all should be dropping to your knees and, not worship God, but suck me off. Because if I am the pennicle of existance, you are all fucked. To echo the thoughts of the Bloodhound Gang, "If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea
If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no
Hell yeah
If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing
If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no
Hell yeah"
So anyway, now for another random ass segway. People do not realize the horrors that are out there. People feel that they are the biggest bad ass in the bad ass kingdom, but no matter how much they love someone, they would step back when the pool of their blood comes to close. People do not realize why some people are cold. They do not understand why war veterans who saw combat have that thousand mile stare. They do not understand what it is like to see a human life snuffed out before their eyes. That grim reality, if experianced is what will give you pause. It will make you realize that you, too, will die. That you, in all your glory and bad assedness, will die. We are all wormfood. It is a great irony if you ask me, but hey, no one's asking so fuck em all!
But aging sucks. I have the mind of a 19 year old, the looks of a 25 year old, and the body of a 90 year old. My joints are going, barometric pressure changes will illicit either pain or joy from me, it takes about 15 min. just to climb out of my loft in the morning, and that is done with great protest from my body. I really don't have the mind of a 19 year old, it is more the mind of a mid 50s vietnam vet, who is so shell shocked that they have, essentially been shocked into enlightenment. There is a reason why there was such a high suicide rate of vets, as well as such high occurances of them going of into the wilderness. They realize that this world is not all sunshine and rainbows, just a trival waste of time until they die. Now I am different from them in a way, I feel more that while I am waiting to die, I am just going to have a great fucking time. I am going to do things, and I am going to try to do them right. But, as I said, no one cares, I am doing this to maintain my narcisism. Either way,
I'm out.
"If I don't believe in myself, would that be blasphamy?"
Getting old sucks. How can you say that you may ask, being all of 19 how can you possibly feel old, or know any of the imensities of the world that will press down on you as your life progresses. To this I respond, I have more life experiance in my little finger than you will see in your first 30 years. I have seen alot, I have done a lot, I have been all over. I have done things I shouldn't have, I have done things I definately was right to do. I have loved, I have lost, I have laughed, and yes, even I have cried. I have seen death first hand, as I have seen live created first hand. And from all the things I have seen, it has made me a very cold and cynical person. This is quite obvious if you look at my past postings, but I felt it was my duty to inform the public of why I am this way.
I am this way, because I was destined to be. I am not the reincarnation of Christ, for which you all should be dropping to your knees and, not worship God, but suck me off. Because if I am the pennicle of existance, you are all fucked. To echo the thoughts of the Bloodhound Gang, "If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea
If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no
Hell yeah
If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing
If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no
Hell yeah"
So anyway, now for another random ass segway. People do not realize the horrors that are out there. People feel that they are the biggest bad ass in the bad ass kingdom, but no matter how much they love someone, they would step back when the pool of their blood comes to close. People do not realize why some people are cold. They do not understand why war veterans who saw combat have that thousand mile stare. They do not understand what it is like to see a human life snuffed out before their eyes. That grim reality, if experianced is what will give you pause. It will make you realize that you, too, will die. That you, in all your glory and bad assedness, will die. We are all wormfood. It is a great irony if you ask me, but hey, no one's asking so fuck em all!
But aging sucks. I have the mind of a 19 year old, the looks of a 25 year old, and the body of a 90 year old. My joints are going, barometric pressure changes will illicit either pain or joy from me, it takes about 15 min. just to climb out of my loft in the morning, and that is done with great protest from my body. I really don't have the mind of a 19 year old, it is more the mind of a mid 50s vietnam vet, who is so shell shocked that they have, essentially been shocked into enlightenment. There is a reason why there was such a high suicide rate of vets, as well as such high occurances of them going of into the wilderness. They realize that this world is not all sunshine and rainbows, just a trival waste of time until they die. Now I am different from them in a way, I feel more that while I am waiting to die, I am just going to have a great fucking time. I am going to do things, and I am going to try to do them right. But, as I said, no one cares, I am doing this to maintain my narcisism. Either way,
I'm out.
"If I don't believe in myself, would that be blasphamy?"
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Sorry all, but there will be alittle bit of a hiatus on the posting of the blog. I am packing up to go home and computer is going to have to go. Feel free to continue commenting, but it will be a 2 weeks until I can post again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
